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Jan. 20th, 2010

Buffy; ME (mouthfullofdust)

goodbye, my almost lover

I'm trying not to think about you,
can't you just let me be?
Should've known you'd bring me heartache,
almost lovers always do.

I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
and I bet you are just fine...

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

Jan. 8th, 2008

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

walk through the fire

I need Hillary to win the nomination so badly. I feel it deep inside that she is the right person to lead our country at this time and I cannot stand to see this opportunity go to waste. I can't even think of supporting anyone else. Please... please... Hillary keep fighting for us.

May. 26th, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

I just watched the VMars SERIES finale (no spoilers)

I can't stop tearing up. That is the end??? That was definitely written to be a season finale not a series finale. No closure. No happiness...

I think Pajiba put it best....
"Now there’s a lot that could be said here. I could rail against the network for this bone-headed decision. I could rail against “you” for choosing to give serious ratings to that Pussycat Dolls shit while continuing to ignore my beloved “Veronica.” I could piss and moan and jump into the freshly-dug grave screaming “no, no, not my Veronica!” … But none of it would matter.

“Veronica Mars” is dead and gone.

Long live “Veronica Mars.”

Veronica is my hero. She is everything I look up to: brave, funny, classy, SMART, and sassy. I have no more TV heroes. No Buffy, no Veronica.

Bye Veronica.

Oh and FUCK! "The fatal blow for the series came when a different kind of woman - those on the reality series "The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll," which filled the "Veronica" time slot during a spring hiatus - did much better in ratings (and will, in fact, be returning on The CW)." {Courant}

May. 21st, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

I am so sad.

I really cannot take any more of my shows being canceled. I know this sounds pathetic but I was literally crying today when I mentioned tomorrow's series finale of Veronica Mars. It's not just about the shows... although thinking about saying goodbye to Veronica is really upsetting, but it's about the fact that America is canceling all the smart television shows and people are watching dumber and dumber shows. I can't take it. All of the intelligent television gets canceled because there are too many stupid people who watch television like Deal or No Deal, or the fucking search for the next fucking Pussycat Doll, or One Tree Hill, or whatever fucking show they decide to replace VMars with like "Gossip Girls."

Gilmore Girls is gone. Veronica Mars is gone (I can't even type that without tearing up). I have 24 and Heroes left. Both really good shows but to me, those are my action-y/fun shows. Veronica and GG are my smart, funny, I-can-relate-to shows... like Buffy.

Don't even get me started on Gilmore Girls. Me and my mom watched the finale and were bawling because it represented way more than GG ending. I am going to college next year and to her "it's too soon," like Rory leaving was too soon for Lorelai. We paralleled them. (Granted she was always 4 years ahead of me) Anyway, yeah that was the hardest thing ever. Tissues galore.

Anyway I have the stupid NHS Induction that I have to go to tomorrow from 7:00 until probably about 8:30 so I will be forced to watch the end of my beloved VMars on the DVR or online and that sucks because I like the full experience...yeah, sucks. I think I will wait till' I have the house to myself or something to watch it on my DVR, create a little experience. I don't know. I just am so upset. And I knew the only people who would understand are my livejournal friends.

Apr. 27th, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

Getting my wisdom teeth out was a great thing

I got them out on Tuesday and ya know, it's not so bad! Actually it's a great thing because I have been able to relax and eat whatever I want (as long as it's soft) without worrying about calories and stuff. I've been eating cake (me and my friend made red velvet cake yesterday!!), mashed potatoes, pudding, milkshakes, hot chocolate - anything! I look like an absolute FREAK with my swollen cheeks but whatever. The vicodin definitely helps, haha. Anyway all I'm saying is that it has been a blessing in a painful, swollen disguise.

I decided where I will be attending college in the fall: Rutgers!!!!!!!! It really all came down to money. My parents won't have to pay anything and I have to pay back hardly any loans. I'm in the Honors Program and Rutgers really is a great school so I'll get a good education at a good price. And then if I want to go to graduate school then maybe I'll go somewhere that's a little more expensive. I've made the right choice.
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Apr. 1st, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

BIGGEST decision of my life thus far

So...NYU, GWU (School of Media and Public Affairs), or Rutgers (New Brunswick - Honors Program)????

I'm so scared I'm going to make the wrong decision. I'm visiting NYU on Tuesday, April 10th because I haven't visited it yet. I'm sure I'll love it.

NYU has given me basically half-tuition and half-loans ( about $18,00 in parent loans and about $5,000 in student loans). GWU has given me almost all tuition and about $5,000 in student loans and then $4,000 is left to pay out of pocket I guess. Rutgers has given me almost all tuition and a few thousand in student loans (not a lot - I think about $2,000).

I have started a list of Pros/Cons. Biggest on them: NYU best education/close to home but no football team and is about 60% female (I want boys, lol). GWU is in Washington, D.C my favorite place and I loved it when I visited but I hear the students are all rich snobby kids and plus it's 4 hours away, but the school I was accepted into is a great match for what I want to do (but that could of course change.) And Rutgers is closest to home, I think I feel most comfortable there, they'll give me lots of money, lots of school spirit/great sports, but I know of about 5 people from my school that could possibly be going there for sure and I want to get away from them.


Mar. 23rd, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

it doesn't mean much it doesn't mean anything at all

I've been in a funk lately. Like a lingering sadness which I can't explain. But I am not depressed and I'm making sure it doesn't get that far when it does come, you know? It's controllable. It's good to be sad sometimes, I think. Anyway, it'll pass....

So I'm going to Washington, D.C. on Sunday all day with the History Club. We leave at 6:15 AM!! YUCK. And we get back around 9:30. I'm sure it'll be fun; I love D.C.

Then on Thursday, March 29th, my friend and I are going to see my man, Justin Timberlake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!! sexxxxxxxay.

SCHOOL SUCKS. The only class I enjoy is World Affairs; it's the only class in which there is something to feel passionate about. At least for me. I'm doing good in AP English. Average (for me) in AP Physics (B-ish). Don't know in AP Calc (probably B+). Not good in Spanish... B-ish, I think. It's okay. SCHOOL SUCKS. Rank: I was 9/457 in September and now I am 16/452. Pretty good if I do say so myself.

So far with college acceptances I got into Rutgers (Honors Program), Fordham, NYU, and Bucknell. Not going to Fordham or Bucknell. We'll see how much money I get from NYU.. I won't know where I am going for sure until April. Everyone I come in contact with asks me where I'm going - I DON'T KNOW!

I lost my Peace earrings. Gotta search for some new ones online.

I'm so tired, this week was hell.

Mar. 11th, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

when you're too in love to let it go

Ten years since Buffy first aired....
Therefore, Buffy Meme by shannigansx.

I love me some Buffy...and miss it!Collapse )

Feb. 18th, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

and it feels right as you step out into the night

as you jockey your way through the cars and sit at the light..
..and you're in love with all the wonder it brings
and every muscle in your body sings
as the highway ignites
(I love songs about driving)

I rented Half Nelson today and LOVED it. Watch it, it's soooo good. Ryan Gosling is amazing in it... geez everyone should win Best Actor! I want Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Smith, and Ryan Gosling to win. There have been some really great movies this past year. I don't care about Best Actress.

Friday: I went to Rutgers for "Scholars Day." All the students admitted into the Honors Program were invited and we had a day of "Come to Rutgers" stuff. I really have changed my mind about Rutgers; it's a way better school than I had thought before this day and I don't think I would be unhappy if I ended up going there. There are a million opportunities for me waiting at Rutgers or really wherever I go... I'm starting to get excited about college.

Saturday: I had an interview with a Princeton Alumni (Alumnus?). Went well. She was so nice and friendly; I felt completely comfortable. We'll see in April.....

Lifestyle Change has been going well (I don't call it a diet) I never starve myself... if I'm hungry I'll eat something small and good for me. I had a Betty Crocker Warm Delights chocolate cake thingy today... soooooo good (it wasn't a cheat - it was within my calorie range) YUMMMMMMY.

And today I did NOTHING which was fabulous. I tried doing Physics but was like BLAH Physics SUCKS. Whatever, tomorrow is a brand new day to do my homework (yuck.) You know what excites me right now???? I GET TO SLEEP TONIGHT. I never get to sleep because I have school everyday and work every Saturday and Sunday morning. SO EXCITED FOR SLEEP.

I think I am definitely someone who enjoys the simple pleasures of life. Sleep, doing nothing, and cake.

Jan. 28th, 2007

Esmeralda; wtf (violet_light)

"And because it was my home, I loved them." July 15th 1950

From Sylvia Plath's Journals...
"Let's face it: I'm scared, scared and frozen. First, I guess, I'm afraid for myself... the old primitive urge for survival. It's getting so I live every moment with terrible intensity. Last night, driving back from Boston, I lay back in the car and let the colored lights come at me, the music from the radio, the reflection of the guy driving. It all flowed over me with a screaming ache of pain... remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted. When you feel that this may be the good-bye, the last time, it hits you harder."

"After a while I suppose I'll get used to the idea of marriage and children. If only it doesn't swallow up my desires to express myself in a smug, sensuous haze. Sure, marriage is self expression, but if only my art, my writing, isn't just a ere sublimation of my sexual desires which will run dry once I get married. If only I can find him...the man who will be intelligent, yet physically magnetic and personable. If I can offer that combination, why shouldn't I expect it in a man?"

I identify with her so much and I am enjoying every word of her journals. I'll probably be posting more from her... I hope one day I can write like Sylvia; it is so amazing that her journals - casual writing - are written so amazingly.
I know I post so sporadically but I get random moments to do so and random moments when I feel the absolute urge to.

Today I am sick. Stuffy nose, congested head, all of the lovely stuff. I managed to get some work done though, not to mention watching two movies on TNT - Jersey Girl and Titanic. Jersey Girl was cute, never saw it before. I just watched Titanic because of my new love for Leonardo DiCaprio. (So upset he has not won an award yet, especially when I have not seen The Last King of Scotland to give proper credit to Forest Whitaker.) Anyway, I’ll see how I feel tomorrow, if I can go to school because I really need sleep and I think I got sick from people at school (everyone was sick last week) so I don’t want to make it worse or give it to someone else... hate that. There’s a snow warning for my county! (1 to 3 inches expected...) Maybe it will be a snow day! *wishfully thinking*

I watched Bad Girls (Buffy) today too!! Just felt like it. I LOVE BUFFY.

Lots of Financial Aid CRAPOLA to do this week.... not looking forward to getting my Dad to help me with it.

Okay must get to bed now. Love you!! Oh yeah, I do read your journals whenever I get a chance to do my fun dailies (Pink is the new blog, ohnotheydidnt, perezhilton, friends list) so I haven’t completely neglected LJ, how could I??

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