"Let's face it: I'm scared, scared and frozen. First, I guess, I'm afraid for myself... the old primitive urge for survival. It's getting so I live every moment with terrible intensity. Last night, driving back from Boston, I lay back in the car and let the colored lights come at me, the music from the radio, the reflection of the guy driving. It all flowed over me with a screaming ache of pain... remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted. When you feel that this may be the good-bye, the last time, it hits you harder."
"After a while I suppose I'll get used to the idea of marriage and children. If only it doesn't swallow up my desires to express myself in a smug, sensuous haze. Sure, marriage is self expression, but if only my art, my writing, isn't just a ere sublimation of my sexual desires which will run dry once I get married. If only I can find him...the man who will be intelligent, yet physically magnetic and personable. If I can offer that combination, why shouldn't I expect it in a man?"
I identify with her so much and I am enjoying every word of her journals. I'll probably be posting more from her... I hope one day I can write like Sylvia; it is so amazing that her journals - casual writing - are written so amazingly.
I know I post so sporadically but I get random moments to do so and random moments when I feel the absolute urge to.
Today I am sick. Stuffy nose, congested head, all of the lovely stuff. I managed to get some work done though, not to mention watching two movies on TNT - Jersey Girl and Titanic. Jersey Girl was cute, never saw it before. I just watched Titanic because of my new love for Leonardo DiCaprio. (So upset he has not won an award yet, especially when I have not seen The Last King of Scotland to give proper credit to Forest Whitaker.) Anyway, I’ll see how I feel tomorrow, if I can go to school because I really need sleep and I think I got sick from people at school (everyone was sick last week) so I don’t want to make it worse or give it to someone else... hate that. There’s a snow warning for my county! (1 to 3 inches expected...) Maybe it will be a snow day! *wishfully thinking*
I watched Bad Girls (Buffy) today too!! Just felt like it. I LOVE BUFFY.
Lots of Financial Aid CRAPOLA to do this week.... not looking forward to getting my Dad to help me with it.
Okay must get to bed now. Love you!! Oh yeah, I do read your journals whenever I get a chance to do my fun dailies (Pink is the new blog, ohnotheydidnt, perezhilton, friends list) so I haven’t completely neglected LJ, how could I??
From Sylvia Plath's Journals...